I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize