Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
