I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
