What a fucking waste of an outfit
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
