Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
