he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
