New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize