this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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