I'm so fucking centered right now
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
vagina is talking i cant
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
