she looked like the before picture.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
