I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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