think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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