If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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