I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
