so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
