At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
