Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
