i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
