Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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