Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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