I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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