Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
