If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
