I cockslap morals
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
