drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
