I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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