I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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