This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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