I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
