What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
