In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
