So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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