STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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