She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
