And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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