I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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