I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
