i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
