I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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