am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
