Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
