Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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