my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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