I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize