Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
