It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
