I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
