playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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