ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Someone came in the potted fern
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
