Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
