My room smells like vodka and shame
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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