Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
