It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
