I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
