Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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