He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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