someone owes me an orgasm
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I touched a dick in church today
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
