Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
