I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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