i jhust puked up my retainher.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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