six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize